Still Waiting!

We are still waiting for a call from the clinic. I have explained things to Ben, and he, too, can hardly wait. Today he would not eat on his own. We are trying to promote self-feeding, but it is not going well. We feel that he is 5 years old, and is fully capable of picking up a spoon and feeding himself. It is age appropriate. So, we plunked him into his seat at the table at 8:15, and there he sat. He got up to go to the bathroom, and then sat again. I don't know who was more frustrated by the situation, Ben or us. He kept saying he was tired of being on the waiting list, and fussing. He only has 8 oz. of puree, and 6-7 oz. of milk to drink in a sitting, and it would take most of us only minutes to complete that, but it takes him hours. We left this afternoon at 4pm for our weekly date night, and he was still working on his lunch. He had all of his milk left, and about 3 oz. of puree. We do this everyday, and everyday is the same, unchanging monotony.
The wait list is killer!

I realized that when I go to the clinic, they will be feeding Ben all day for me, Monday through Friday. The beauty of that is that I can take Ben home at night, and simply enjoy him. I will not be under pressure to get a certain amount of food into him, and I won't have to feel the anger and frustration toward him that I usually feel. That would be pure bliss for me. Our relationship is so difficult and complex, if not downright painful.