We Are Here!

We arrived after a whirlwind two weeks. I am pretty sure that my head is still spinning. Yesterday was our first day at the clinic. I thought that they would just be working Ben over, but let me assure you that I got it too, mainly in interviews by all of the departments that will be working with Ben. I was scheduled the whole day, and barely got a chance to scarf down lunch.

We began the day with vitals and a weigh-in. Ben also had a physical. During the physical, I was asked a bunch of questions regarding Ben's history. I was able to answer most of the questions, and was able to give a pretty good timeline, but had forgotten about some of the meds he has been on in the past. Once we discontinue a med, I usually put it out of my head, and focus on things that are more important at the time.

We then got a tour of the place, and found out where the different departments are. We met a lot of his therapists. There are many, and I am glad I am not going to be quizzed on names and faces.

I was asked to feed him lunch. His feeding therapist took me into the pantry to find some foods for him and my heart sank. I looked around and saw all things cornish. He has a corn allergy, and processed foods almost always have corn. There were shelves of processed food. I was told that they would have food for him, but I didn't see them, so my anxiety levels rose significantly, and I usually have almost no anxiety ever. If he happens to eat corn, he will have an eosiniphilic reaction which is a very painful thing, and this clinic time will be over. I've worked too hard to get here, and I don't want anything to mess this up. We finally found a can of fruit that he could have, and pureed that, and pureed a banana for him. They sat in the observation room and watched me feed him. They are doing baseline data, and trying to figure out where to start him in his treatment plan. He ate the food for me, but hated the bananas, which were not prepared the way I do. He says he does not like coconut milk, and it was conspicuously missing, and he noticed. He was nervous about their food, and made me taste it first. I don't like purees, but tasted it, and painted on a smile.

I had an appointment with the social worker. All parents here must see the social worker. She can be a liason with the community, and a listening ear. I usually don't need a listening ear--that is what my mom and sisters are for. All in all, I felt like I had seen a shrink, and was kind of humored by that.

For dinner, I fed Ben again. This time they pureed fruit cocktail and also canned green beans. Again, Ben insisted that I be the beefeater, which seems fair, as I cannot feed him something I am not willing to try myself. I tried the green beans first. I really love fresh green beans, but I can tolerate canned in a pinch if I have to. I have to say that pureed, canned, green beans are unreasonably nasty, and no one should have to be subjected to that. I tasted them, and could not paste on the smile, but I didn't die from eating them. It really would've been better if they would've added a big slice of butter, and some salt, but they were plain, and a bit cold...so I decided not to push Ben too hard with them. I managed to get him to try two bites of them which is more than I could do, so I considered our efforts a victory. He ate the fruit cocktail puree even though it was spiked with olive oil--I use canola.

I met with the nutritionist before leaving. I really liked her. She is spunky and fun. I explained what had happened with the food choices earlier, and she promised me that they would shop for Ben that evening, and be better prepared the next day. She also said that they take allergies very seriously and would not mess up. I left feeling better about that whole thing, and was ready to trust them again.

It was a very busy day, and I was looking forward to today, especially because I wouldn't have to feed Ben dinner. I am ready to hand over the responsibility for a while. I want to just enjoy Ben.